People I had known

While working at macy's (I know, I'm like ALWAYS talking about this place, since I'm there most of my time these days. lol) I was happen to bump into several people who I had known in high school years, including classmates, sub teacher and piano teacher.

It's been several years since I graduated there..
But weird thing is that.. no matter how much time it has passed..
They remained pretty much same way as they were back in those days.
Their feature.. The way they wear the cloths.. The way they talk.. The way they look at you..etc..

I mean.. Is it.. too... obvious thing..? haha

The more interesting thing was that..
These people were bringing me the TIME when I was with them.
And they were generating the exact vivid SCENE that I was placed in.. with them.

Approx. twenty five chairs, whiteboard, lined up (not-modern-type) computers stick to the yellow wall and the teacher's computer and low rectangle table on left and right side in front, etc.
They were also bringing me the memories of other people, too. Not just them.

Almost as if I went back to the time when I was 17.
A person who had alot of pimples on her cheek.. and so shy.. and not really willing to put her head up high. (Still, I was dreaming at that time.. for sure.)
A person who knew nothing about American high school system.
A student who enjoyed learning Spanish while struggled learning English in ESL class.
A student who needed to study SATs right away while knowing only few words of English.


They were bringing me the old me. old memories..

Then at the end of our dialogue, my old sub-teacher told me that
"You're a hard-working person. I'm sure you'll do okay.."

I don't think she just said it accidently.
I mean.. At that moment, I really took that as a complement.

Am I proud of myself?
Ugh.. It's not about that..
But more like.. I think I least have deserved to hear that kind of a statement from someone..

Because looking back of my past few years..
I think I really TRIED..

What have I tried..?
Um.. I've constantly tried to reinvent myself.
Whether through writing or recording to my diary and journal..
Whether through trying to seek God.. I guess it was my own selfish thing.. hoping that would keep me from falling...

Esp. my journals..
They were my inner voices..
My inner voice was always encouraging me to do well.. to be more patient and more persevere..

When time is passed, that moment never comes back...

So how to enhance the time.. that moment.. that feelings..that are already gone and disappeared..?
For me.. it's the writing.. as you already might know..

If you do that..
I'm sure... that you'll get to experience.. the feeling of silliness.. (hehe)
How you were being so silly.. at that moment..
How you've got to grow.. through those times..
How you've become changed compare to old days..

How you can become unimaginatively missing those times that you wanted to escape so badly right at that time..

Young..Fresh..
These will never last..
Sad to say this.. but these will 'eventually'.. leave us..

So what's left?
What's gonna be left is.. all of the crafts.
When these are gathered..
It'll become a journey..

One human-being's beautiful.. journey...

Every individual has this journey..