Your Right

Never assume that things will just happen naturally.

Your right will never be acknowledged or achieved until you open up your very mouth and speak up your side and your right.

The only man to command your right is yourself.

Shrimp mayo and Yakisoba

The food I made. 

Shrimp mayo recipe 

Fried Shrimp
1/2 lb large tiger shrimp (26/30)
1 egg white
6 tablespoon corn starch
olive oil 

Sweet Lemon Mayonnaise Sauce
1/4 cup mayonnaise
1 tablespoon vinegar (or fresh lemon juice)
1 tablespoon sugar
1/2 tablespoon water (or milk or cream) 

Easy 3 steps!

Step 1: Combine the mayonnaise, vinegar, sugar, and water together. Mix well. 

Step 2: Remove the shell and tail from shrimp. Mix shrimp with egg white then roll in corn starch.

Step 3: Deep fry in a batch until the shrimp is a light golden color (about a minute and a half). Mix the fried shrimp with a sweet lemon mayonnaise sauce and eat!

I'm Sorry

As soon as I saw the coworker's stomach was gotten much bigger, as if there was a baby in it, I congratulate her wholeheartedly. 
"Awwwww you pregnant? Congratulations! What is your month? "
"No, I'm not pregnant," said she.
The cold blue moon was starting to drape over my face.


I looked down at her stomach once again to examine it.
To my surprise, I couldn't believe that belly was not pregnant, just because. 


I slowly took my hands off of the register. 
All I could do was just leaving that place silently, because it wasn't even a joke.

Security Question

The wrong password blocked me from logging into my previous school e-mail system. 
The security question was, "What do you first do in the morning?"
Without a thought, I typed "teeth" and got wrong. 
Next, "wake" got wrong, either.
Although I was strongly convinced by my practical action, I never typed the word 'pee'.


'What would be the answer? Why did you put the question that you can't even remember' I asked myself and agonized like a student who can't think of the answer she just studied for in the night before the exam. It seemed so easy question to answer, but nothing came up to my head. 


Later, I called the tech center, got a temporary password to log in and found the answer. 
The answer was 'glasses'.


That was totally unexpected! 


p.s. of course, I changed the question I can easily remember for the next time lol

My Black Friday

It was a weird day. 
Macy's put me into the 4am-2pm schedule and I even stayed two hours longer voluntarily, but wasn't feeling tired or anything coming back home and even after. 
Having to wake up, wait until the deadly hot water hit my body in the bathtub and wear the black clothes in the early dawn felt so revived and prepared. 
As my car rolled into the parking lot of Macy's, I was having this image of cars in the lot dotted here and there, but it wasn't. At least twenty rows or more were filled with cars in just one parking space. 


Around 5,6 am was the peak time of my excuse-me yawning due to the no customer traffic. 
Then, about 7:30ish, it started to pick up the pace and later, there was a dragon tail looking line of people on pretty every register.
The customers came up the register with items to buy and red coupons or even their own made-up cozy coupon boxes or whatnot, to debate and to use. 
Before I keep going on, I will give you the basic Macy's policy or role in terms of using coupons.


1. The coupon excludes every day value, items' price that ends up with 98 cents. 
2. The coupon can be used once per transaction. 
3. It's always either-or. You never get coupon and extra ..% off on top of that. 


But I understand. The coupon policy is kind of confusing to get, unless you are an employee there. 
The way an explanation worded on coupon is additional recipe for policy's unclearness and vagueness.


Anyway, on Black Friday, I know that everyone was so excited to use up those coupons, but unfortunately, pretty much none of the coupons were applied on items, because of the morning specials. 
So a lot of customers left the register as disappointed or angry. 
Among them wanted to talk to one of the managers and they did. 
But I don't understand. No matter how clear I thought I explained those policies to customers, they always want to talk to the manager, whose explanation is nothing really different from mine. Why can't they just trust me?


I saw some types of customers when they tried to use coupons. 
1. Trying to use the 10 dollar coupon on the item price of 6.99. 
2. Not being able to make up their minds and ordering associates to do this #1, this #2, this #3, that #4 on and on, to have items in the very, very, very possible lowest price they can try. 
-For these types of customers yesterday, I specifically asked them to make up their minds since there are people behind them. 
3. Read the coupon from word to word and try to convince me that the discount on coupon and charge should combined and later, ask me to call the manager. 


This black fri. 
I stayed awake 17 and half hours. 

Christmas Song

The retail stores never stop playing Christmas songs, so as Macy's. And it's not even Thanksgiving.

The Deer

After the rigorous day, I drove back to my home.
By the way, there are two entryways to get into the parking lot, where the tens of residents' cars are there.
As my car neared one of those ways, my slanted eyes behind the glasses flashed toward the deer, standing so tall under the streetlight and contrariwise, the deer stared back, looking pathetic. My car slowed down to stop.


A chill started to run down my spine at the thought of a deer's roots or feet hitting the windscreen, and if so, I'd imagined the earthquake outbreak on the surface of glass might affect the person sitting behind the wheel.
The seconds passed like days.


The deer and I both became still for a moment, helplessly tried to read each others' faces. As I looked into it, its elegantly elongated neck and dreamy black embedded eyes became more appealing to me. Above us, the sky was dark grayish blue.


Shortly after, I geared a stick to reverse and the car moved very slowly.
The deer, as if it had a common sense and was yielding a traffic, crossed the parking lot like a speed of light to be disappeared from my sight.

Sick

I was soooooo sick yesterday and my symptom was
-I felt like I was seeing the yellow sky, which was totally delusional.

It might have caused by one of the belows.

1. Drinking two small cups of milk two days after the expiration date

2. Irregular eating habits (Sometimes I eat a lot, sometimes I skipped the meal)

3. Cheese oven spaghetti w/ bacon and mushroom

TRY

"Try this broccoli. Try it! Will you just try it at least?"
said my grandma as she pressing the broccoli hung from her chopstick really hard against my lips.
In spite of that hard press, my mouth was refusing to be opened to an end; it was like a gatekeeper of the castle, protecting itself safely from an invading army.

Growing up, I heard that word [try] so many times from my grandma that even the distant echo is still ringing in my ears, her sexy English accent. That has led me to assume perhaps, try is her favorite English word to ever use, since she and I had developed an interesting game called, hide-and-seek, back in my childhood.
Our roles were parted, she played a hunter, I the runner; whenever she reaching out her chopstick with not-so-delicious-looking food for my mouth while saying try, that signaled me enough to run away from her immediately.

Why did I run away?
Because.. I had wanted to eat what I was familiar with only and that gave me the sense of comfort, so I didn't feel like the necessity of trying different food. I was completely content with few options of what I had, and that was used to be the tender beef.

It took me several years to summon up my courage to try broccoli. Now? Whenever I go to restaurants, I choose broccoli over all other side dishes, even over french fries, which at one point, was regarded as one of my food-idols. I enjoy broccoli regardless of how it is cooked.

I am thinking that other than a broccoli, there are so many things to try in my life and in this world.

Trying things beyond the boundary I had set it up, had always given me fears.. The fear of unknown, uncertainty in result, future and in discovering an undiscovered world, which I didn't know whether that would be harmful or not. Most of all, the fear of what my reaction would be, if things don't work out or if get rejected. I knew I'd be feeling all kinds of negative emotions.

'If I didn't try it, I wouldn't have gone through these bad, shameful emotions. What If  I try it again and feel the same bad way?' I used to think.
The basic definition I had come up with for try was a nothing, but a fear.

People always say that it doesn't hurt to try or ask. No! It definitely hurts!! When a person tried really hard for exams, jobs, businesses, sports or any sorts of applying, etc., and you can't have the desired output, it's obviously frustrating! 

Whenever I received rejections, I felt like someone is stamping a huge capitalized 'R' onto my forehead, like saying there-you-go, which I never deserved to have.
To me, these end-of-the-world kind of fears made me to step back or even stopped me from attempting.

However.. Lately, I've been starting to realize that it was NEVER-end-of-the-world when that happened unless I completely gave in. Plus, the more I experience rejections, the better I manage my worst feelings.


While deserving not to be failed after my attempts, I formulated a very simple manual that I may be working on, and that was - the more times I try, the probability of me getting failed is increasing and the vice versa. It made sense to me, because those either-or probability is out of or depended on how many times you attempt it, so it was very obvious how trying worked like that.
Therefore, I realized that trying is nothing to be shamed of or an abnormal phenomenon, but it's just a natural, how-it-is kind of thing.

Well, trying is like everything that life has to offer [or I should say, trying is what you have to chase] , because there are always good and bad sides of life and trying brought me the mix of feelings, like fun, exciting, fears, confidence and even more.
When I tried broccoli for the first time, I didn't have to like broccoli, I could either like or hate broccoli, but until I opened the door of my mouth and let the broccoli come in, I'd never know what the broccoli taste like. Luckily, broccoli worked out for my taste. 

With attempts, a lot of things.. won't work out like broccoli. I might not like it. Things won't work out for me. etc. etc. 
Trying... is like.. life.

You don't know what or how it's going to turn out until you try it.
Of course, there could be regrets after trying, but at least, there will be no regret for not trying, that for sure. Trying can be hard, but that much, trying itself is accredited and worth it.

Now I know.. Try is the best and beautiful word and present my grandma has ever given to me. 

The Lovely Bones

One day, Susie Salmon was being raped and murdered by Mr. Harvey, her neighbor that lived alone and had a hidden history of killing bunch of girls and women, when she visited his house. 

The first chapter contained that brutal murder scene and the following chapters displayed Susie being watching her family going through struggles from above the heaven, which I acknowledged the book was a novel, but at the same time, a fantasy. 

Every time when Mr. Harvey was pointed out as suspect of this case, he was able to escape the police dragnet by showing his nicely wrapped civic awareness and the participation to the investigation and conclusively and apparently, no evidence existed. However, Susie's dad was always convinced that Mr. Harvey was the culprit. 

The story seemed very genuine and pure in a way in which the story developed from Susie's voice and her point of view, but at some point, there were parts where made me to wonder like, 'is this a really 13 years-old girl's language?', because the way it composed seemed so mature and thoughtful that I would never think that this was spoken by 13 years-old girl, unless the girl itself is really.. mature in a way she thinks.. 

After being placed in the heaven, Susie has always missed her missing life in earth, such as her high school - college years, and her teenage and first love that she had with when she was alive. His name was Ray, who was an Indian teenage boy that robbed her lips. 

That one-more-kiss.. was what she was ever longing for.

It was very, very interesting to see how desperate the teenage love can be. 


Susie's mom had an affair with Detective Len Fernamen, who was in charge of investigating Susie Salmon's murder case. She was very worn out from the lost of her daughter and that's how and why that happened.

What about Mr. Harvey? 

Unfairly, he kept remained unpunished and not arrested.. and then he died from an accident.

The Salmon couple, once divorced, finally reunited.. 
Before Susie was finally taken to heaven, she made love with Ray. According to the book, she showed up to him while being dead, but how come? I honestly don't know how, but that's what happened. 

The author, Alice Sebold's composition was very rich and refined and insightful, so I really enjoyed her writing style. 

But the whole time reading this book, I can't deny the fact that I felt like there was something on my throat, because of the nature of subject's heaviness, like murder.. rape... investigation... , even though Susie and her family.. taking a road to find the truth.. and that truth, is always the love..., was really inspirational.. It was still hard topic, to swallow. 

I really wish to watch The Lovely Bones in a movie. That would be great. 

One Way

Life is..
Nothing to go back. 

The fierceness in the food competition programs

"Why are you always watching cooking shows? You should stop watching those and better be watching dramas or movies instead. Those'd be more helpful to you. Practice listening!" My mom asked and scolded me, who was sink in the sofa, at the same time. Although I knew what she was referring to, listening to English, I still liked practice listening on cooking shows.


Listening to that sizzling oil in the skillet, listening to that spatula flipping the battered fish or chicken in the sea of oil and seeing the other side turning as crispy golden brown, which is one of the common phrases hosts like to be claiming. The finishing touch'd always be the kiss of lemon.. to show  the audience 'that' Ta-da! moment and to notify them the cooking is officially done and meal is just about to be served. Or even hosts going  their knives through the bun to cut into halves, so that the skin of meat patty now facing the camera, juicy liquid bleeding from every pore tucked in the meat, was starting to tempt me. 
Cooking shows were like that to me. Those types of listening and seeing were strangely comforting me.
 They planted the fantasy of not only food but its pretty visual side on me.


Back in 2008, I was so into Project Runway (It was fashion designers' competition, in case if you didn't know) in Bravo channel, which shows the fierceness in fashion.
Right after, Top Chef in the same channel caught my eyes.
In my opinion, Top Chef differentiated itself from any other cooking shows existed at that time, because cooking shows, like where Ina Garten or Giada de Laurentis were in, showed people HOW TO cook, but Top Chef. showed us how ordinary contestants crave and fight for the title of Top Chef.

Later I found out that the format of Top Chef was very similar to that of Project Runway.
Even the contestants' arms across the chest while a cheerful opening music played were overlapping images I could find on both of shows. 


There were always less than 20 contestants and were 4 judges including the host.
Now, here's the thing. Everyone knows that 4 is even number. If the judges vote, there'd be no crossroad upon their decision making challenges, therefore, the difficulty might fall, deciding who should be the winner.
Yes, there's a host included there, but still, I think the bravo treats and allows host to be exercising the right of choice, like what other official judges do.


So among those four judges on each show, one is always the host, usually slender and good looking female model, and coincidently they both weren't born in the U.S. The other one is the expert in that field, like an acclaimed chef or famous fashion designer. The third person is always the journalist, the one who has to say things, normally critics or magazine editors. The last one is always the guest and this changes by each episode.




***Top Chef - Padma Lakshmi(model, borned in India), Tom Colicchio (chef), Gail Simmons (food critic/food and wine magazine editor), Guest


***Project Runway -  Heidi Klum (model, borned in Germany), Michael Kors (designer), Nina Garcia (fashion critic/director at elle and marie claire magazine), Guest




As you can see, the two shows were laying on different spheres, but were designed in similar formats.
And the emergence of so many similar but different programs after Top Chef were like a proof of its success.

The next food competition program.. I'd like to talk about is Chopped.
Literally, I thought Chopped was the exact clone of the Top Chef.
But as a matter of fact, the more I watched, I started to realize it wasn't.
First of all, Chopped run by episode whereas Top Chef run by season.
And the most distinguishable thing is Chopped's mystery ingredient basket. Chopped is keep brainwashing the viewers by saying that the basket may look like a picnic basket, but in fact, it's a mystery ingredient basket. But seriously, the visual is not even close to any of picnic baskets. It's the ugliest basket I've even seen. So as soon as the mystery ingredients were revealed, the contestants can rest their imaginations on a kitchen, in time limit. Some Chefs' creativeness is exceptional.. Some chefs' creativeness seemed like they shouldn't even deserve to come out in a competition.


Same mystery ingredients and same amount of time were given in Chopped.
Top Chef, however, didn't. The given conditions in Top Chef could vary among one another. The ingredients, which they're cooking, were different depends on which knives they draw in. Also, some of challenges.. they have to work in teams.. So if contestants were paired with wrong people, umm.... you don't have much options other than having readiness of mind to pack your knives and go home.


And there are even 3 judges in Chopped, the odd number.
Well, there's still the host, Ted Allen, but he totally acts as middleman and never intervene the judges' decisions, even though he himself has a lot of knowledge in food.


I liked Chopped.. Now, more than Top Chef.

Chopped gave a birth few days ago, and the child was Food Network's new series, Sweet Genius.
My grandma and I were sitting side by side and just watched it.
At certain point, my grandma started to slap my lap, like her instrument, or.. the sign of emergency.
"Ouch!" I looked at grandma once and then look at the TV and her slapping made sense to me.


The contestants mounted the stairs and finally arrived in front of the host of Sweet Genius, Ron Ben-Israel, and they all placed their food in front of Ron Ben-Israel.


I was struck by this scene. I can't still forget the feeling I got from that scene.
It was like people devoting food to the temple of the Greek Gods or something.


Ron Ben-Israel.. I don't know who is he.. and it was my first time seeing him on Sweet Genius, but I knew that Food Network placing him as host AND judge (one and only judge) was a huge mistake. There was no other judges other than him.


He.. was in charge of everything, literally. Everything he was responsible for, everything he could be blamed for the result. One judge in competition program like this. I mean, I still can't get it.
Three or other odd number of judges would be ideal. to discuss and to make a decision.
But one???


Well, people, including me, may perceive Ron Ben-Israel as Goddess of pastry or something.
His authority as judge.. is way too powerful. It's like giving all authority to this one man.
One man.. is going to decide the winner of each episode and to deliver his criticisms.
But.. aren't people, in general, have different opinions?


Trusting his intuition only was too risky.. Too risky and I don't even want to watch it.

Scream 4

Scream 4 didn't disappoint me, although the ending, I thought, was very sloppy.

I was surprised to see Kristen Bell (although she was just a cameo) and Hayden Panettiere in the movie, my favorite actresses!

Sidney Prescott now is a best selling author of her self-story book, returned to her hometown, woodsboro for her book signing tour.

It was about right timing for the ghost face to appear in her town as well. As always, the ghost face made everyone that surround Sidney slip into a trouble.

Well, I think the movie maker aimed the surprising twist at the end by revealing the ghost face as Jill, Sidney's younger cousin, who as growing up, being jealous and almost admiring of such media and family attentions that Sidney has always received due to her tragedies, but it wasn't really surprising. 

That sweet high schooler was a ghost face..? It was like, 'no way, she can't be the ghost face. She's way too sweet to be that. lol'

It wasn't that creepy like how i expected the end to be.

If I have to choose my favorite scary movie between Scream 4 and Final Deistination 5, I can't. ;; They both have great plots.

By the way, I never noticed Courteney Cox's beauty until I saw her in this movie.

Final Destination 5

The group of coworkers got on the bus to go to company's retreat.
While the bus stood on the bridge, Sam, one of the coworkers, saw the vision of everyone dying from the accident of the bridge collapse.
He warned everybody in the bus, but nobody listened.
As soon as he was warned from his vision, Sam took Molly, his ex-girlfriend, out of the bus with him to try to get her safe.


When they got off of the bus, the bridge really collapsed and there were 8, so-called "lucky" survivors, because of Sam's notice.
Then the police agent Mr. Block became suspicious how Sam did know the bridge would collapse.
Later, the cause of the accident was found to be a natural disaster, the high winds and the bridge construction.


As time goes by, those lucky eight survivors got to witness each one of them facing a death with no certain attribution, despite their efforts to avoid it.


I really liked the movie, it was cool. I liked the creativeness of such scenes of each person facing the death. I liked the cast, especially the ones who played Sam and Molly. I just wished.. the movie was a little bit longer.. 
After I finish watching, one thing I questioned. 
This one is classified as horror movie, and death was a main subject the movie intended to talk about. Maybe the death is what people are most scared of in the 21st C..?

Superman Dr. Lee's Testimony

About two weeks ago, I found someone familiar face on a big, rectangular advertisement attached to the shop door as I walked by. I took a few more steps in backward then stopped at the door to read what it said. "The miracle in me" was written above the picture of a man who sat in a doctor's white gown in a wheelchair. 

In the last winter break, I was reading about his story through online articles.
He is known as Superman Dr. Lee, who is now working at the department of rehabilitation in Johns Hopkins University.
How did I hear about him?
At first, I heard about the Korean popular drama called, Dr. Champ (Champion's abbreviated word, I guess..), even though I've never watch that.
Later, I heard that the main charactor of the actual model was known as Dr. Lee Seung bok.


What kind of a person is he.. to overcome all those odds he had faced? 
I was wondering about this person, who was encouraging people to never give up.


When I read his articles, I had never thought that I could meet him in person.
The poster informed me that Dr. Lee will be delivering his religious testimony in one of the Korean churches.
So I was definitely excited.. to go there.


Last Saturday was that day.
By the time the darkness fell, in the foggy parking garage, I stopped walking when I approached the front door of the church, where my friend was standing by in a black military-look suit, her hands jammed in her pocket.


Friend- Hey, do you have 10 dollar?
Me- (My hand shoveling my bag) No.
Friend- The entrance fee is 10 dollar.
Me- (Taking my wallet out of my bag and there was only five of 1 dollars, what's left after I paid my food at Texas restaurant. I showed that to her.) 10 dollar? I didn't know there was an entrance fee. I have a credit card, though. Do they accept a credit card? 
Friend-  (Taking my 5 dollars) I'll pay for you the rest.. You treated me the lunch last time.
Me- Aw.. Thank...


My friend and I stepped into inside where was like a chapel and where the music coming from. The room was already filled with many Korean older people - now the audience, watching traditional music performance in the rows of long, light brown chairs.


After the performance, Dr. Lee rose the stage with the help of two men, lifting his wheelchair on his left and right.
His mic attached- silvery white laptop in front of him and power point slides above him were proving to be his exhaustive preparedness for the testimony.  
His life story and testimony were started to unfold in Korean.

 He was born in 1965 and his family moved to the States in 1973 when he was 8-years-old.
When he came to the States, his immigration life was a lot different, tougher and harder than he'd ever imagined before. His father was a cleaner, who had worked for more than half a day and so did his mother. 


Dr. Lee had no time, no chance to see his parents.. and he thought the immigration life had stolen the togetherness and happiness his family used to share in Korea.
He also said he hated the fact that people in America didn't know about the country of Korea. They'd only ask if he was a Chinese or Japanese, not even knew where the Korea was located on the globe.


He said he felt a lot of emptiness in immigration life that he desperately needed some kind of a goal that he could devote his life into.
When he saw the little Romanian Olympic gymnastic gold medalist on TV in 1976, he got such an aspiration that he would be successful in gymnastic, too and let the world know about Korea and who he is. 


He took that road of becoming an Olympic gold medalist despite of his parental oppositions.


By the year of '83, he turned out to be a professional gymnast, who had a very promising future ahead of him. 
One day, he was practicing the summersault really hard. As he was landing on the floor, he thought like, 'yes, I did it this time. I turned it wonderfully!' But instead of his feet landing, his chin hit the floor.


When it happened, he said that he thought someone was showing him the pictures of his life's highlight moments right in front of him.
He was sent to the hospital where his parents came in, his father said, "You haven't listen to our words and what is this terrible thing happened to you!!"


Hearing his father's words, he felt like a jerk, he told us.
All he wanted to do was.. letting people know about the country he's from and most of all.. he wanted to be loved by his parents and imagined his family happily living after when becoming a gold medalist.


He was told that he could never walk again.
He cried.. alone in the dark room.


'Why me? Why this hardship? I was a good person, good brother and son! I wanted to achieve my dream and become a great person!  I was so close to realize that dream! Why did you send me to somewhere that's a halfway back on the earth and let this happened to me?" He asked God.


He was more sad with the fact that that his dream of becoming an Olympic gold medalist could never be realized anymore than the fact that he is paralyzed for life.


But.. as he had gone through the rehabilitation training, he gained a challenging spirit, surprisingly.
Then he had decided to switch his life direction gear from sports to study.


He enrolled in NYU. One day in the campus, Dr. Lee had a conversation with the stranger for three hours. 
His name was Larry, a missionary, who explained to him about Christianity so well enough for Dr. Lee to accept and to be convinced that there's God, eternity.. and joy, happiness, tranquility filled life in spite of his physical condition.
He asked Larry, "Then how can I become a Christian? Do I have to be good to become a Christian?"
Larry's reply was simple.. A lot simpler than what he could have expected. 
"You just have to believe.. that God is our Christ and savior. Only that.. belief."


He felt like he was freed.. from thousands of needles pressing his back..
Finally, he could open up his mind.


Before, he wanted to plan everything by himself and he wanted to be recognized in order to let people know his identity and presence.. Because of that, he was a sinner, he said.
He realized.. that no gold modal to fill his emptiness was needed anymore.
He said God finally and perfectly made him to see His master plan, which is spreading the gospel. 
I could hear people saying 'Amen' in places as Dr. Lee said this.


Dr. Lee- All I needed to do was... moving forward to God with a truthful belief.
We have a right to be loved.
Love your God, love your family and siblings and neighbors.
Be determined to have your dream and courage.
And have a CAN-DO mind in God. The miracle is in God and hope is the ones' whose dreaming.
And that's what the true champion is like. 




The powerpoint slides showed us the pictures of his life moments along with the words.
I was espeically overwhelmed at the part where it said,
He was able to get into Dartmouth med school 10 years after he dreamed a new dream. 


You don't become a doctor by getting into a med school, it's just one-step-closer process. But to draw him nearer to his dream, it took him a decade.. just to get into a med school. and 10 years is not a short time, obviously. And in general, a lot of people can't even get into a med school, no matter how long it takes or how many times they attempt it. And his starting point wasn't even same as others. 


When that sentence popped on the screen, suddenly, I tried to imagine what he must had gone through all those years.. him.. wrestling with sitting on his desk for long hours with the physical condition he has, wrestling with temptations and spirituality and mentality and patience and the clock in his room ticking by every battling moment in his life. 


Of course.. I was not even close to imagine the scenes where his hardships were involved by every moment, because no one could ever understand what other people are going through in their lives. Ever! He must have settled himself down to study when his mind was wobbling.
How hard that must had been.. how disciplined and determined he must have been.
I couldn't think of anything except just thinking to myself, 'wow.. human-victory..'.
But more surprising thing was that.. he ascribed his accomplishments to God.
He said what he did was all what God did.. for him.


The testimony was very inspirational and was soulful and merciful moment, like a creamed cheese, spinach, tiny sliced crispy bacon stuffed all inside one mushroom. It was like a very truthful, thankful life advice you've ever wanted to hear solely for your own good or your pursuit of a better, fulfilled life. The most awesome thing was that he shared his story with others to encourage.  I thought and still think that he is a true champion.


After his testimony, people circled around him in the doorway, in an anticipation of taking a picture and getting an autograph from him.


I got on one of the tentative lines, having the same exact anticipation that other people had.
As I waited, my mind started to race.. for absolutely no reason!
'What am I or what do I have to say to him? It is.. pleasure to meet you..? or it was a great testimony..? Wait, do I even have such an authority to say or compliment him like that? By the way, should I say in English or Korean? Since he's Korean. Oh wait, he was grown up here for most of his life. But he did say Korean today in testimony.'


In the middle of all those unnecessary thoughts were compling on my brain, suddenly I met his gaze. His gaze over the shoulder of the person in front of me, holding the camera with his back slightly bent, because of his picture taking.
The group of youth boys, who got Dr. Lee's autograph, went away with their fast and frantic footsteps and my turn came.
I approached Dr. Lee, thinking 'uh-oh, I still don't know what to say to him.'


He greeted me first, said 'hello' in Korean, so I did too.
I told him, 'I read your articles over the last winter and they were very inspirational' in Korean.
It was not the words I prepared, but that was exactly how I got to know him..

 No time to talk anymore other than a picture time, because there was a line of people behind me. 
My friend was taking a picture of Dr. Lee and myself. I didn't know how Dr. Lee was posing, but I looked at the camera and grabbed the smile like a prize, because meeting him and listening to his testimony that night was really meaningful to me. 

 I heard his testimony, but still, I don't really know how he became a champion.
However, one thing I am so sure.
I was so much encouraged by his story and words, so I'm very grateful for that.

One Day

I love, love, love this novel. It was very readable.
I think that the book was beautifully, humorously and brilliantly written.
Ever since Emma Morley and Dexter Mayhew met on the college graduation day, June 15th of every year for the next 20 years was their anniversary of recollecting what happened in both of their lives.
This type of story telling really worked for me than any others, very interesting. 
Everyone wonders, 'Can't opposite sexes become friends?'
Well, One day shows the breathtaking tug between love and friendship.
As they've gone through the missteppings in their relationships and career paths, they've become feeling desperate on each other's presence. I fell in love with both characters, very loosen-up type Dexter and Emma, the type of a person who worries in advance.
I don't even wanna see the movie. The book was just perfect.

Buffalo Wings and My Tongue

The next three days after getting a huge impression on hot wings my aunt order it from Pizza hut, were another 'Pizza hut days'.
I brought the food I ordered back to my home. I called buffalo wings and blue cheese as sexy-bb-combo.


I opened the box containing wings and what's immediately welcoming me was the red acidic smell, which was like a needle sticking every particle that might have existed in my nostril.
But I found that even lovely, so I inhaled that smell deeper once again, as if smelling a febreze. My nostril became bigger and bigger, like blowing a balloon, then released.  
My face transformed into something like Kevin's face, very calm and relieved, before the macaroni cheese dish in Home Alone.


I was in rush to dip one of the wings into mouthful of blue cheese, which always makes me wonder myself, 'why it's blue, it's obviously white!' and feed myself with a bloody-covered fingers.


In the middle of my 'fast' fiesta, ARHHH!


Eh? Suddenly, I was seeing the overhead light bulb in my imagination with my hands cupped around my mouth.
It was so delicious that I bit my own tongue.

The Princess of Mirror and Her Ears

Last Sunday was my grandma's eighty's anniversary celebration.
The guests and relatives were all gathered in a banquet room and they sat in the round tables that were topped with flower vases and transparent drinking glasses.


The host placed my grandma in the cetre part of the room, so that everyone can view her.
[While the guests were sitting at the tables with comfortable pose, they(the banquet hosts) made her sit crossed legged on the wood floor, which my family later thought that this kind of a posture could have made her really uncomfortable. (Later, my grandma accepted that it was indeed, inconvenient position.)]


In the biography part, standing few steps away from my grandma with his non-properly working mic, the host briefly told about my grandma's life history, which she has led into, from her birth, childhood to marriage and life after marriage .
Very eloquently speaking, the host said,
"Having artsy gifts in dancing, Ms. Park (my grandma)'s nick name has said to be the princess of mirror ever since she was young, because she never gives up looking at the mirror. That much, she and mirror are inseparable. No doubt! I'm sure that's why she still maintains her fine look and her beauty."


The crowd burst into laughter.
Course, I was one of them.
What can I say other than the host's words were the verdicts!
Her pocket-fit-size mirror and comb always belong to her pocket she carries around.
She possesses them like a talisman and takes them out often. How often? It's probably enough to compare how frequent Kim Kardashian'd put a mirror in front of her before she goes into some swimsuit photo-shoots.  That's how frequent my grandma sees herself and enjoys looking at herself and spends time on her look.


At the age of 23, I should be the one who be doing that, but all I'm telling about now is my eighty-years old grandma.


Many times, she recommends me to use her precious belongings.
"Want some mirror?"
It's like an addictive smoker saying "Want some cigarettes?" as she lits the cigarette and crams that into her mouth.
Isn't she 'something' for eighty years old grandma? haha


Wearing the pink, formal 'han-bok' custom dress, she looked weak, tired and even paler. Probably because of her particular attire and the amount of time she had to sit on that same spot with a same uncomfortable position.
And me.. watching her from the round table.. it felt weird.. that my grandma is already eighty years old.. and I'm already a grown-up person, who was raised by her for my entire life. 'She approached... eighty....? Really...?' I thought.
Yes, I couldn't and still can't believe she's in that age.. the age people usually think it's so~~ immensely~~ old.
Watching her from the distance, it became more clear that how precious she is to me.


Yes she did look tired, because of the circumstances at that moment, but at the same time, like the host said, she exactly looked like a prim princess of mirror in my eyes.


Anyhow.. when the host's mirror joke was ended, the guests were reacting hard by laughing hard, except.... one person...
What happened to my grandma? She was the only one, who wasn't reacting to her own story.
By that point, having a fanciful notion, she should have laughed out together or at least, given the guests either of a warm or shy smile with her right hand to her mouth, knowing that she was being looked at.
Instead, she gave people a boring look.


I tilted my head with a slightest wonder.


....


After a party, my family came back home with exhausted conditions.
I asked my grandma.
"Why didn't you laugh when the host was talking about you?"


With a high curiosity and her sparkling eyes, she asked me back.
"He was talking about me? What did he say about me??"


Aha.


"What did you hear, grandma~~?" I said to her in a police detective kind-of-a tone that is about interrogate the suspect (for incapacity of hearing..? haha lol)
"Nothing....?" she replied like an innocent girl.


By the way, it's been several years that her ears have been like that.
It's a common scene for my family and relatives to say same things over and over again.
Sometimes.. she even needs us to shout at her.
The average minimum number of the talk my family has to do in order to pass on words to her is three or four times. After we conveyed the words we tried to convey, we were often fatigued and our energies were literally depleted.


There were many times she took an advantage over her auditory problems. When she thinks something's unfavorable to her situations, she blames her hearing problems or she says she committed such such kinds of mistakes, 'because of' her ears. Not a good habit, grandma!


Nowadays.. instead of doing all that, I tend to press my mouth to her sideburns and deliver her a message. lol


At the moment. All I wanted to do was... shouting in her ears, so she can hear.
"You are always my lovely princess!"

Delicious food I ate at the celebration.

He didn't know

Feeling the brisk early autumn on my face and bare arms under short sleeves, I headed out to the USCIS with my mom and grandma, following uncle. My uncle gave me an opportunity to help him out with the English translation for his immigration card renewal.

The place we got off however, was the post office, the place nobody seemed to be looking for an immigration card but me, my eyes already scanning the inside in search of a person who we could ask.

A first "random" person we bumped into said that this is the place, for that purpose.

My uncle and I immediately got on the line and made sure to ask one more person. I tabbed the shoulder of the person who was standing in front of me. The old guy turned around. His pinky lips, full of life and volume, against his tropical tan skin was very hard to be unnoticed. It reminded me of Angelina Jolie's lips, therefore held my attention.

I started to pepper him with questions about the process.

Where his index finger pointing at across the line of people, "immigration passport accepted between 10am and 3pm" was written on the sign standing on the front desk.

He also advised us that we needed to wait for an hour, since at that moment, the watch was announcing 9am. My uncle and I were convinced by him that the post office was the right place that we were looking for.

Around 9:30am, my uncle's turn came and he marched up to the counter and asked me to ask the office person if this was the right place to do the process.

As soon as we heard no from him, as if being betrayed, we turned our head and snapped our eyes back towards him, who was standing few steps behind us, already shrugging and saying "Oh, I didn't know."
Then why did he act or pretend like he knew? That... I don't know, either.

Better or not, we soon found the right USCIS place, only a block away from the post office, very pure white building, like a bashful bride. 

While our house ladies were waiting for my uncle to take care of his business, my mom and I saw the little girl with a blond hair and cherry lips sitting and doing exactly same things as my family. She turned her head to look at us. Suddenly, one idea pleased me. 

So when she turned around, my mom and I made a finger heart in the air, shoot her a cupid arrow with a ridiculous, no-age-appropriate pose!

Have A Little Family Time

Last Sunday was the special time for my relatives and families when we congratulate the youngest family member's upcoming college life and his future.

I was happily dining on roasted pork/steak/fleshy prawn with mashed potato, broccoli and salad, kim-chi, roasted corn, green beans from second aunt's place whose son is heading off to the college in New York.

Everyone was saying that the highlight of the meal was the steak, except me.

I was cutting the steak into smaller pieces and was repeating on the same spot of the meat.

After I put a piece into my mouth, I realized that my arm exercise through cutting wasn't that rewarding. It was like chewing old gum that you need to chew endlessly.

Should've ordered it as medium rare, instead of well-done.

Published: Come Sail Away

You can check out the actual publication at http://issuu.com/gono/docs/prh_summer2011

pg. 52~3

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