October, 2010.
I arrive home with thinking and worrying about the topic I should write for my advanced magazine writing class. After laying my dark blue Reebok backpack on the hardwood floor, I sprawl right next to my eighty-year-old grandma on the green couch. “I’m back, grandma,” I say to her as I hug her, an act I do over thirty times a day. She blows some air into an old picture frame and wipes it with the Swiffer Sweeper. I hear her mumbling to the picture. “I wouldn’t have married you if the Korean War didn’t occur. How fate played a part for you and me. I had gone through so many hardships, all because of you. The Korean War is a foe to me.”
“Who are you talking to, grandma?” I ask.
“Oh, I was just talking to your grandfather.” My grandpa died many years ago, probably when I was three or something.
In the cracked black and white picture I see, the younger looking girl has the pleasantly plump cheeks that make me recognize her as my grandma, because I always tease her about the robustness of her cheeks. It is quite unusual and interesting to see my grandma when she was young, because I’ve always seen the older version of her ever since I was young. In the picture, she has a baby in her arms and has at her side two other kids, who happened to be my mom and my aunt. Besides her, there’s a sturdy and manly looking guy, who appeared like a soldier with ten medal badges displayed on the left side of his military uniform. He was just as handsome as the men I see in magazines today. They look like a good couple, so why is she blaming him?
My grandma continues, “He shouldn’t have desired me. How dare him. He was a poor soldier with a poor family background. I was a girl from a noble family comparable to that family who owns Samsung."
“Wait, did you just say SamSung?”
“Yes.”
“No way. SamSung is an extremely rich company in these days.”
“That’s right,” my mom says to me as she comes out of the kitchen. “Your grandma’s family was like that at that time,” It seems like she heard our conversation.
She continues, “Your grandma’s family owned fields yielding as much as 10,000 seok of rice. The amount of rice people carried was one of the ways to measure their richness at that time.”
My grandma says, “There are so many different types of maids who belonged to me and served me. The maids who sewed my clothes, the maids who cooked for me, the maids who accompanied me. It was like a division of departments.”
I could tell grandma wasn’t bragging, she was telling the truth.
“I didn’t have to do anything. I just stayed and those people did everything for me,” she pauses and continues, “Until I married your grandpa. I never knew what suffering was until I met him.”
Suddenly, a thought pops into my head and I grab my grandma’s hands.
“Grandma. You have to help me. I have to write a story for my magazine class and I have nothing to write about except maybe the story you just told me.”
“What did I just tell you?” says Grandma, showing off her one remaining gold tooth, which makes her look uncontrollably cute. That gold tooth also reminds me of Joe Pesci from a movie, Home Alone.
I’m sure that she’s going to help me, because I’m not made in China or made in Korea, but I’m made in my grandma. She’s always been at my side for twenty two years, whether massive amount of pimples attacked my face or when I had a huge fight with childhood friends. I’ve shared ninety eight percent of my life with her. Now, I want to know what happened to my precious grandma forty years before I even existed. I take out my cell phone and turn on the voice recorder and,- let her story come to life.
She slowly unfolds her story,
“It was right after the Korean War in 1950, right after the North Korean Army just retreated and the U.S. army went back to their country. The war mood and tension between South and North wasn’t quite gone yet. I didn’t know about the situation in the North, but I knew that the South always had to watch and prepare for a potential attack from the North or another battle between South and North. But even in the very midst of national tension and whatever happened, life had to go on. The small village called Im-Shil, where I was born and grew up, slowly started to reconstruct itself with the help of our soldiers. I was nineteen and I met your grandpa at that age. People used to call that’s the blooming age, but when I look back, I think that was just the beginning of my sacrifice to support your grandpa and my children. I had this friend name Mal-ja. Oh, I just resent her.”
My initial reaction does not even want to ask her why, but my grandma’s hating her is good enough for me to also hate her instantly.
My grandma begins to explain the relationship. “What an unforgettable friend. She shouldn’t have appeared in my life.”
~ (My grandma starts to tell her story)
Late summer of 1950
In the room, with my two brothers and mom, I sit by the table full of food without chairs, eating dinner and completely unaware of what Mal-ja just volunteered me for. In the midst of our chopsticks moving across the table, I stretch my arm and place the chopstick on a steaming chub mackerel, because it looks so delicious. Suddenly, I’m awakened by the slapping sound on back of my hand. “Ouch!” Rubbing back of my hands, I look up at my mother who is expressionless, say, “Your brothers first!” She had raised me very strictly. Normally, my mom is an exceptionally intelligent and refined woman in an every way. Even in those old days, she isn’t indifferent about teaching me the etiquettes and mannerisms. But when it comes to the gender, she’s just like the other women around that period in Korea where everyone favored boys. It was because of the absence of my father. My father died when I was a baby. After inheriting wealth from her husband, my mom probably didn’t want to be looked down by other male community leaders. Although I think it’s little unfair, I believe in my mom that she has some sense of duty to protect our family. I stick my lips out. Suddenly, a maid knocks on the Asian style door and comes in. “A messenger is here,” the she informs. “Again?” Her mother responds with a grimace on her face.
~
Same day
In my house garden, standing firmly in a murky-green military uniform with hands behind his back, Sergeant Hong waits for my mom. Dragging the powder pink, silky fabric of the han-bok (3) on the hardwood floor, my mom comes out to the main floor room where the garden comes in sight. She says to Sergeant Hong in the nicest way possible, “I told you several times that we have no room for your lieutenant.” The sergeant starts to look around, from warehouse on left side to the main house and to the reception room on right side.
“There’s no way you don’t have a single room in this enormous mansion for a single person to stay?” he asks in confusion.
“We have to take care of dozens of maids, that’s why,” she reasons.
“What about that room?” Hong points at the reception room with his index finger.
He suddenly goes up to the reception room and opens the door. The empty room catches his eye. “It seems no one’s living in here,” he says as he turns his head around and stares into my mom’s eyes. “Ma’am, this is for the purpose of temporary village protection against possible invasion by the North. You have to cooperate with us. Otherwise, I cannot guarantee you that the army would not reprimand your actions.”
She looks at him resentfully and says, “Well, if I let your lieutenant use that room, are you going to stop harassing me?” referring to many times that my mom was asked.
“Sure.”
“Okay, then. I guess your commander may use that room.” approves Mom reluctantly.
“Lieutenant Lee! You can come inside now!” he shouts towards the main door.
Suddenly, your grandpa steps into the yard.
“Hi, Mrs. Park. I am Lieutenant Soo-Young Lee. Nice to meet you.”
He continues, “I really appreciate your kindness.”
“You’re welcome,” she responds abruptly and goes inside.
~
Same day
An armored car drives down the empty roads of Im-Shil passing by the meadow. In the back of the truck, nineteen years old Mal-ja, my high school alumnus, who is small skinny girl, sits with her hands tied up, surrounded by the five South Korean soldiers. She never stops chattering. One soldier finally scolds her due to its annoyance: “Shut up, you commie girl!” Mal-ja is not a girl who easily loses her confidence, even when she’s just been told by a soldier to ‘shut up’ or even when she’s under arrest.
Why she arrested? I got to know this, years after when I heard it you’re your grandpa. During the Korean War, she was giving away information about the situation in the South to the high officials and soldiers of North, which was illegal. I also heard that while the war was going on, she insisted that people should live equally and share its wealth, which is totally against democratic ideology. Since when we went to same high school, I kind of knew it, because she was acting strangely, more like a communist. She tried to convince her other classmates by speaking passionately, as if it were an actor’s monologue. She would exclaim, “People should share all their revenues. Why do some people live as rich and some people don’t? Isn’t that so unfair? I think it’s so unfair!”
Although she’s a captive, she gets along with other soldiers pretty well.
Mal-ja ignores the commanding soldier and turns to the other soldier who happened to be your grandfather, Lieutenant Lee. Mal-ja says to your grandpa,
“By the way, Lieutenant Lee. Where are we heading now?”
“Our troop is going to be stationed at Im-Shil. Sergeant Hong has been checking for an accommodation for me,” points at the house that seems to have several roofs, he continues, “I’m going to be stay at the richest house in the town. They own 2,000 pyeong(2) of territorial space.”
The house slowly comes in sight of Mal-ja as the car approaches there.
With a surprised voice, she says,
“That house? I know that house! One of my former high school classmates used to live there. I don’t know if she still lives there, but I’m sure she does.”
“Really?” asks Lieutenant Lee.
“But you’re right. Her family is very wealthy. And guess what? My friend is very pretty. I can introduce her to you if you want me to.” She suggests this, because she probably wants to get out of her way of the investigation that is awaiting her.
~
Two days later..
In the back side of my house, Mal-ja is ready to be taken to the interrogation room by two soldiers standing beside her. Before she leaves, she decides say farewell to Lieutenant Lee. Mal-ja’s hands still tied up, she talks to Lieutenant Lee, “Even though I was held captive, thanks for your kind consideration while I was be taken in.” Even though she’s a captive, she didn’t receive any hostile treatments. The reason is that although she had been acting like a North and following them, she’s still a South countryman.
Mal-ja continues, “So I guess I can go now?” She turns around and starts to walk. Lieutenant Lee grabs the back of her brown sweater, pulling her into where he stands. She hesitantly moves backward. She turns around again and she wonders why. Lieutenant Lee says, “Your mission is not done, yet. You promised me that you’re going to introduce Mi-Sook to me. I’d like to see her.”
Mal-ja gives him an absurd look and says, “You still remember that?”
“I’m a virile son of South Korea. Why would I forget about such good offer? And you said she’s pretty.”
“My goodness,” Mal-ja replies helplessly.
~
Three days later.
While I stay in my room, I hear the bell ring. I let my maid to go out and check who it is. Mal-ja was the one who rang the bell. The maid comes out of the front entrance and approaches Mal-ja and says,
“Who are you?”
“Oh, hi! My name is Kim Mal-ja. I’m looking for my high school friend.”
“Your high school friend doesn’t live here,” says as the maid looking at her strangely.
“I’m looking for Mi-Sook. Please let her know that her friend, Mal-ja is waiting for her in outside.”
After being informed of my visitor by my maid, I think it strange, because although we went to same high school, we weren’t best friends or anything. I come out of the middle entrance with my maid following me and I look around for Mal-ja, but she seems to be nowhere.
“Hey, Mi-Sook!” Mal-ja shouts. She pokes her head out of the front entrance, gesturing for me to come outside, which I’m not allowed to. Ever since the troop has been stationed in our village, I’ve been told by my mom not to go outside by myself, instead, just keep staying at inside of the house. But my mom is out of house right now. She went to Cheon-ju few days ago for her business. So I just decide to ignore the order of my mom and go outside by the front entrance, and my maid also follows.
I see Mal-ja, but she’s not by herself. She’s with three other soldiers, including Lieutenant Lee, Sergeant Hong and Sergeant Ahn, who, of course, I don’t recognize. I’m a little shy, because I had never exposed to guys other than my brothers or maids before. Moreover, I went to an all girls’ school.
I wouldn’t expect that our short conversation would change my life in a completely different way.
I ask Mal-ja with a wonder.
“Hey, Mal-ja. What brings you to my house? And who are these soldiers?” I give a glance at them.
Now that, there’s nothing that tying up Mal-ja’s hands, she replies,
“Oh, this is Lieutenant Lee, who’s going to stay at your house for next few months. And this is Mi-sook, a friend of mine from a high school.” She smiles a glance at the lieutenant.
Being introduced to some guy is not what I expected before I come out here. I ignore the presence of your grandpa and other soldiers and start talking to Mal-ja.
“I haven’t even seen you since we graduated! How have you been?”
“Oh, I’ve been great! What about you?” Mal-ja says nonchalantly.
Suddenly, I vaguely remember hearing about her from my other high school friends that she got arrested right after the withdrawal of the North Korean army but I don’t know why she was arrested exactly at that time. So I bring up that subject to know what she had been up to.
“After graduation, I heard that you were caught by our forces. What happened? Is that true? Why would the army arrest you?” I grab her wrist unconsciously with a worried look on my face.
“Ugh! It’s a long story that you probably don’t want to hear at all.” Mal-ja tries to laugh it off.
“What happened? Tell me.”
“Nah, it’s a sensitive issue, so I don’t want to talk about that,” she declares. I don’t ask her for more. Instead, what comes out of my mouth is,
“So then.. Are you okay now?”
As Mal-ja slowly takes my hand off of her wrist, she says,
“Oh, yea. Sure I’m fine!” Mal-ja seems like she is smiling on purpose to hide how she feels right now.
Mal-ja asks, “What about you? What have you doig during the war?” She switches the focus of the conversation to me. In a completely opposite way than her, I openly tell her everything because I trust people.
“With my two brothers, mom and our servants, I fled further South to escape from North Korean army attack. Luckily, my family’s tenant farmer offered a room for my family. We had lived there for about six months, so that way, we could avoid the war. When North Korea defeated, we were notified that the North Korean army moved back to their domain. So it’s not been that long we just got back to our house and I guess..life still goes on, no matter what just happened.”
“I see,” says Mal-ja as she nods her head.
I say, “I gotta go. I’m not normally allowed to come outside.”
~
A month later
Lieutenant Lee finishes setting into the reception room. Coming out of the room, he starts taking off his white shirt, and puts it on the threshold by the door. He then walks to the garden and begins to spray himself with a water hose. The sewing woman in gray hair walks down the garden holding a basket of clothes in her arms against her chest. Your grandpa tells me later that, as he sees her, he remembers the letter he wrote to me and wonders if the sewing woman could give the letter to me. He waves her over and asks, “Who is your master?”
“I serve Ms. Mi-Sook,” she continues. “Is everything comfortable for you in the reception room?”
“Oh yea, everything’s been great. The people and servants are very kind and they did everything that I requested.” He walks to the threshold and finds the letter in the pocket of the shirt that he took off. “Can you give this to Mi-Sook?” as he hands the envelope to her. Looking down at the envelope now in her hands, she asks,
“What’s this?” He thinks for a brief moment and says,
“It’s just a letter to notify something to the owner of the home.”
“Then I should give this to Mi-Sook’s mom.” Strongly refusing with waves of his hands he says, “No! You should give that to Mi-Sook.”
“Oh, okay,” she replies after tilting her head to the side with curiosity. The sewing woman walks away.
~
A month later
In the room, while the sewing woman works on her sewing machine, I sit beside her and look at how she’s handling the machine. The sewing woman has been like my step mother since I was born, because she is not as strict as my real mom and more generous. “Miss, you need to learn how to do this,” she says to me.
“Me?” pointing at myself, I deny, “Oh, I would never even try to do that kind of a thing. It seems really hard doing it.”
“No, it’s actually really easy. I can teach you how to use this, so that you can trim your own cloth from now.”
“Why would I need to learn that? You’re here for me as always and you always sew clothes for me. Plus, I’m the only daughter of the richest family in Im-Shil. There are dozens of maids who do every single thing for me. I don’t need to sew. For the rest of my life.” I lived in luxury until my early twenties, so I didn’t even try to learn how to do the things at that time. But now, as you know, your grandma can do anything.
Laughing she says, “You’re funny.” Suddenly, the letter, which Lieutenant Lee gave to her, pops to her mind. “Oh! I have something for you,” says as taking out the folded envelope from her pocket.
“What’s this?” I ask curiously.
“Lieutenant Lee gave it to me one day. He said just give it to you.”
“And you don’t know what it is?”
The sewing woman slowly shakes her head. I curiously stare down the envelope and take it from her hand. I open the envelope.
I find letter that is ripped off of the notebook. Curvy handwriting catches my eyes. “Dear. Miss. Park. I’ll wait you in the outside door by noon. I’ll keep waiting until you come out. –Lieutenant Lee.”
“What’s it say?” asks sewing woman, trying to slightly lean over her.
“Nothing,” she quickly hides the letter on her back. “Did you read this?”
“No. Lieutenant Lee told me not to read it.”
~
A month later
After receiving your grandpa’s letter, I go out of front entrance. I see him waiting for me. During that time, men and women aren’t even allowed to stay closely. So I stand few steps away from him and ask, “Why did you send me the letter?”
Without even giving me a moment, he says,
“I’d like to marry you.”
“What?” surprisingly I answer.
“My father is a governor of Young-chun and my mom is probably as intelligent as your mom. She can even play the piano. I’ll make you happy when we get married.”
I start to think to myself. His mom can play the piano? I know none of those things. His family must be really intelligent. Yes, I am stupid, because I don’t know much about outside world. I just believe what he says to me.
That is our second meeting after I saw him with Mal-ja at first time. Old people.. are that simple.
~
A few months later
Lieutenant Lee is standing on the stage facing the wealthy men who owned tenant farmers. Lee talks bravely, “The soldiers have decided to stay in Im-Shil temporarily,” As he speaks, his voice spread, throughout the audience, captivating everyone. “This is to protect our village, our nation from dangerous North Korean soldiers. We’re going to help reconstruct the village. We’re moving forward.”
~
A few months later
Have I even considered about getting married with your grandpa after he proposed me? No, because I know that my strict mom would refuse that. I stay in the living room and suddenly my uncle, Jong-Pil walks in, after hearing Lieutenant Lee’s speech.
My uncle starts to ask me weird question, “Mi-Sook, how old are you?”
“This year, I turned nineteen,” I reply.
“Wow. I didn’t know that you already approached the age to get married. If you get older, it’s hard to give birth. Are you dating someone now?”
“No,” I answer uninterestedly. He turns to me and grabs my arm,
“Hey, I’m just coming back from the speech that was delivered by Lieutenant Lee. I think he is the one for you. You can tell about that person when you listen to how someone speaks. He is very brilliant and brave guy. Why don’t you consider him for your partner for the rest of your life?”
~
The rest of my life that he was talking to me at that time.. got screw up, because I met your grandpa. I’m regretting that I was married to him. He was not the son of rich or intelligent family. He lied me. Sometimes, I imagine if my life would have been different, if the Korean War didn’t occur. Like I said, Korean War is foe to me. I blame that War. Not only that I blame Korean War, but I also want to blame my uncle and my friend, Mal-ja, who all set me up for him.
(1) Korean for measure of rice
(2) Korean for measure of territory area
(3) Korean traditional dress
